No subtext here. People are naked.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
