My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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