Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize