8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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