I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
