He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
No stitches, just platelets and will power
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize