Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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