In the future we'll all be gay
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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