I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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