My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize