Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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