So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
