im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
