I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
