I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
