Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
