I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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