i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
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You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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