SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
