So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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