He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
