Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize