Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
