next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
