i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
