one might say we're banned from that church
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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