Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
