I'm so fucking centered right now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she told me i tasted like america
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize