just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just high enough for therapy.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
