So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
