My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
