he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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