He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
