There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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