i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
