I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
