I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
