I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
