I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the raccoons are back...
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