Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
