My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
