oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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