he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
what day is it and did you see me today?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize