If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize