my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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