it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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