i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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