remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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