We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
