walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
