Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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