I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
