Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
