I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
