My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
