He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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