The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
