no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
